calling this meeting into session.
agenda:
mentorship in progress
the fashion lens
a new decade
good evening, tried and true readers!
i don’t know if it’s just a symptom of being chronically online, or the fact that i’m standing at the edge of some big personal decisions—and a new decade—but i keep hearing doechii in my head: “somebody’s watching me... it’s my anxiety.”
there’s always plenty to be anxious about. even on the calmest days, it feels like there's a browser in my brain with 37 tabs open. . . most of them just looping my own thoughts back at me.
mentorship in progress
i’ve always been someone who enjoys talking with others about their career path, especially other women exploring law or politics. these conversations usually energize me. they help me stay aware of what students and early-career professionals are navigating, and they give me space to reflect on my own journey.
answering questions about my path has even helped me process some of the decisions i’ve made. it’s helped me clarify where i’ve been, and sometimes gives me insight on where i might want to go.
i know i’ve written before about whether i’m in the right career. lately, that feeling has gotten louder. i don’t have a clear sense of where i want to go next.
at the same time, it’s been peak mentorship season. through formal programs, informal connections, and junior staff at work, i’ve been having a lot of those “perspective” conversations. but i don’t feel excited. i don’t feel like i have good enough answers to share.
i know my experiences are still valuable. but lately, i’ve been feeling a little lost career wise which weirdly makes me a bit anxious before these meetings.
not because i don’t have anything to offer, but because i sometimes feel like my advice just isn’t helpful because i still don’t really know what i am doing or what is next for me. sigh.
i know i know - my insights are helpful. i’ve been through things others are just starting to navigate. it’s just that the gap between what i know and how confident i feel in sharing it has been louder than usual and it is a new feeling for me to navigate. but hopefully not a long lasting one.
the fashion lens
i’ve always loved fashion in the sense of creating a lewk—but lately, i’ve started appreciating the cultural conversation around fashion more.
what trends can tell us about the economy. what shifts in body ideals say about consumer mindset. what fashion says about how we see ourselves, and each other.
i never really talked about these things with others because I felt like I didn’t know the high-fashion “basics” - the designers, the runway calendar, the general trend cycles. those things always felt like a pre-req i hadn’t passed.
lately, though, i’ve found a few voices online that make fashion feel more accessible—more cultural, more analytical, more me.
the instagram account @databutmakeitfashion breaks down fashion trends through an economic lens. it looks at what fashion reflects about our culture—what we’re nostalgic for, what we’re leaning into, what we’re trying to prove. her most recent post talked about how the popularity of micro shorts at coachella might signal economic optimism, thanks to the “hemline index” (shorter hemlines = brighter outlook).
then there’s tariro makoni’s substack, trademarked. she’s brilliant. she writes about fashion and the economy, yes—but also about the specific shopping habits of the eihg (elusive international hot girl). aspirational, but also i like to think of myself as an occasional eihg. so, its relatable.
i like thinking about what we buy, and why. about how taste travels. about how what we wear is always saying something, even if we don’t know the language yet.
these voices gave me vocabulary. not just for fashion, but for what i’m drawn to, and what that means about how i see and understand the world around me.
one thing i want to do more of this year is actually join the discourse! posting here is a start. but i want to actually join the conversation. maybe i’ll comment on tariro’s substack instead of just fan girling on the side?? stay tuned.
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also: i recently invested in a few more uniqlo bra tops (on sale!!), and i’m thrilled. i bought a few last summer and wore them constantly, so i just picked up two new colors. totally worth it. i love not having to wear another layer. (one note: the white ones show a faint outline of the built-in bra—but it’s not super noticeable. the other colors are solid.)
a new decade
it’s the last week of 29.
a small part of me wanted to have a grand, chaotic final weekend—stay out late, make impulsive decisions i could write off with a “well, i’m still in my 20s.”
instead, i spent most of it enjoying the space i pay rent to live in.
friday: dinner at a favorite spot with a friend to celebrate her birthday
saturday night: stayed in with a friend and enjoyed dinner, wine, and a netflix true crime documentary
sunday: costco trip + a writing session at tiger fork.
i didn’t feel any urgency to do anything more.
in the past few years, i’ve come to terms with the fact my chaotic instincts ebb and flow. sometimes i want the action. sometimes i want the calm. neither needs an explanation.
i’ve also spent a lot of this past year joking that it was my last year to make dumb decisions and blame them on being in my twenties. and now… i won’t have that excuse anymore.
i feel okay about that, though! because honestly, i can still make questionable decisions in my 30s if i want to. and i feel comfortable not having to justify them to anyone.
maturity is fun. maturity is also not letting the book “the defining decade” psych me out into where i should be in life (raise ur hand if you also had a slight spiral after reading that book).
overall, i feel pretty good about entering a new decade.
next time you hear from me, i’ll be thirty!